When the pain from mental health issues won't go away

The Friday Flashpoints!

Arlana Miller, a scholar and cheerleader at Southern University in Baton Rouge, took her life this week after leaving a tear-jerking suicide note on Instagram. 

Arlana was 19-years-old...

I will turn 50 two weeks from today and during my life, I have known six people who ended their lives by suicide. While I had no recent interaction with four of my friends that took their lives, I was one of the last people to see the last two—and I am haunted by their memories to this very day! 

The first, Jason, had been my friend since we studied for the Florida Bar Exam together in the late 90's. I then became a prosecutor and Jason became a public defender and a few years later, when we both went into private practice (along with several of our friends), we rented office space from yet another mutual friend of ours, John Kenny. We used to call our office the "Frat House" because we were all still in our early 30’s and on any given Friday afternoon, we would pour drinks, turn up the 80's MTV era music, and enjoy discussions about politics and life. 

But on this one Friday afternoon, I was still working late and as it was close to the 7:00 hour, Jason tapped on my door and plopped himself onto my couch and started chatting. He looked tired, which was not unusual, but our convo was brief because I was so focused on getting the document that I was drafting finished. Shortly thereafter, Jason got up and said "Chuck, I've got a few new books on World War II upstairs that you may like; my door is unlocked, so feel free to get them." I replied without looking up from the computer"ok, bet—have a good weekend" and continued typing as he closed my office door behind him. That was the last time that I saw Jason—he hanged himself to death at his apartment sometime the next morning.

Jason was 31-years-old...

About seven years ago, I was representing my friend Andrew, a well-respected personal trainer in Tallahassee. "Drew," as we knew him, had a very lucrative business until earlier that year, when he caught a felony criminal mischief charge in which it was alleged that he had keyed up the door and slashed the tires of one of his former client's Porsche. Drew told me with tears in his eyes that he did not do it, and that he was sad because his wealthy clientele had all but abandoned him after the arrest without even stopping to hear his defenses.  

Months later, on the Friday before Drew's case was set to be tried, we spent time at my office going over a trial strategy that I was extremely confident would lead to a not guilty verdict. When I was done presenting, Drew hugged me and said that he was sure that we would win, but he then broke into tears while expressing his fears about more embarrassment coming his way once the local media started covering the case. I then said, "I've never seen media coverage that dimmed a not guilty verdict, well, except for maybe O.J. Simpson" and we both burst out into laughter before he dapped me up and went on his way. That Sunday morning, Drew's fiancee told me between wailing sobs that he had shot himself to death in the foyer of their half-million dollar home.

Drew was 43-years-old...

May is Mental Health Awareness Month and for reasons I may never quite comprehend, far too many Americans, especially Black Americans, do not extend the same grace to people suffering from depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder that they do to someone fighting cancer, heart disease, or covid. I won't get all preachy today, but when I think about young Arlana Miller killing herself at 19, when I think about my six friends who chose to end their pain and suffering in similar fashion, or, when I think about how I totally and badly missed the signs from Jason and Drew only hours before they committed suicide, my sincere hope is that those who are suffering from mental disorders (or have loved ones or friends so suffering), that you please engage the services of a well-qualified psychiatrist or psychologist to help ease your (or their) pain and suffering!

If you are reading this post and are experiencing suicidal ideations that simply won't go away, call the National Suicide Prevention hotline at (800) 273-8255!!!

God bless!